We’ve probably all heard the adages about parenting. Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. Parenting isn’t for sissies. And on and on I could go. But aside from entering into parenthood with our eyes wide open, what are some practical ways that we can not just survive but thrive as parents? How do we successfully help our kids to grow and be a productive part of society? How do we do our best to ensure that they are as loved and well-adjusted as possible, needing as little therapy as possible? How do we listen so that our kids will talk and share with us?
Well, I’m not sure about the therapy part, but Becky Harling has some good tips in helping to accomplish at least part of it in her latest book, “How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk.”
Harling reminds her readers regularly throughout the book is the need for extending grace to both yourself as well as your children. As she writes, “God was the perfect parent, and His kids sure messed up in the Garden.” It’s a reminder to all of us that kids are human and will make mistakes, we shouldn’t take it as hard as we so often do.
Each chapter ends with a section called Wisdom from God, a section called Wisdom for Self-Care, and a section called Wisdom for the Ages.
The Wisdom from God section is meant for the reader to dig a little deeper into what the Bible says and how it applies to parenting. It includes Bible passages to look up and study as well as some follow-up questions to help the reader think and process through what they’ve read.
The Wisdom for Self-Care section has some questions for the reader to ask himself/herself. There are also some helpful tips for parents to be mindful of best practices and ask themselves questions to challenge and grow them.
The Wisdom for the Ages section is set up based on what age group children you have: Preschoolers, Grade Schoolers, Tweens, and Teens. The wisdom and advice in this section is specific for each of those age groups to be practically focused.
Harling writes in a very informal style making her readers feel like they’re just sitting down for coffee. I appreciate her sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of her own parenting experiences. She doesn’t put herself up on a pedestal, sharing only her successes, but also shares willingly and openly of her own struggles and failures in parenting.
One of the things that I’ve often felt as a parent is that I’m the only one who has ever experienced some of the struggles that I’ve had. Reading this book, there are times when I’m comforted in knowing that, at the very least, Becky Harling can appreciate those struggles. She’s been there before and she’s lived to tell about it.
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, just like parenting. Harling challenges parents to do the things that will best serve their kids, not the things that will make them best friends. Her focus is on growing healthy children, not creating future best friends for yourself. I appreciate her willingness to be a truth-teller throughout the book. She doesn’t pull any punches but her truth is always delivered with grace and love.
“How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk” is a book for the beginner or seasoned parent and all parents in between. There are so many helpful tips that Harling shares here that can be so helpful for parents longing to make connections with their kids no matter what age. It’s not a long volume but she packs enough in there that any parent should be able to find some nuggets within.
If you’ve beat yourself up for your parenting failures or struggled to make connections, this book may be helpful for you. If you’ve felt like nothing you can do is right or you are just longing for some good practices and suggestions, check out this book. Harling has some words of wisdom to help move you towards a growing and healthy relationship with your kids.
(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge by Bethany House. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)