Have you ever been in a conversation or a meeting and started a dialogue in your head? Maybe I’m just giving leeway for someone to have me committed. It seems to me there was an article running around on the internet recently about those people who don’t have those running dialogues in their heads. But I digress…
I attend a lot of meetings and I can be a fairly outspoken person. Occasionally, maybe even frequently, my wife may be present at some of these meetings with me. It’s always amusing to me when I make eye contact with her and I either get a look of approval or disgust. When that happens, I generally smile to myself.
It’s not that I’m going for disgust, it’s just that I know something that she might not know immediately, in that moment. You see, the things that come out of my mouth are generally filtered, they’ve already been through that thought process that we all go through as we make that decision as to whether or not we should really say the thing that’s aching, longing, striving to escape our mouths.
It happened a few weeks ago, where I got “the look” from my wife after a few choice words were uttered by yours truly. We’ve been married for nearly 19 years and I’ve grown accustomed to “that look” from her, especially when that look is expressing her disapproval.
In the car, on the way home from said meeting, I smiled as I looked at her and said, “You weren’t happy with what I said. Funny thing is, that was the filtered version. You should have heard the deleted scenes in my head.” Not sure she found it nearly as amusing as I did.
Over the years, I’ve realized that saying what I’m thinking isn’t always the wisest and most prudent move on my part. While it may be true, that’s not the only question that I have to ask myself. There are other question I need to ask myself. Is it beneficial? How will it be received? Will it hurt? There are probably a few others as well, but I think you get the gist.
In the last few years, I’ve had to ask myself whether what it is that I am so longing to say is beneficial, edifying, necessary, and truthful. I guess there’s an acronym there: BENT. If it doesn’t meet all those requirements, I’m probably not going to say it. It will make the deleted scenes reel and it’s probably a good idea if that doesn’t come with the Blu Ray release…
Sometimes, saying what’s truthful is not always beneficial. Sometimes it may be beneficial but not necessary. I’ve found that sometimes, asking questions can achieve the same result as saying something but with a much more positive outcome. After all, when someone answers a question and comes up with the same answer that you might have told them, won’t that be more beneficial for them?
My deleted scene reel is getting longer each day. In all honesty, I really hope there isn’t a day that I stand before God and he plays the whole thing. That wouldn’t necessarily be good for anyone. Until then, I guess I’ll just leave it to be something only he and I know. After all, what people don’t hear won’t hurt them, right?