Always Someone Smarter

As I’ve gotten older and become more comfortable in my own skin, I’ve seen the benefits of team. I’ve seen just how important it is to build trust in a team setting. I’ve also seen just how important it is to put aside any jealousy and animosity if the team is going to be healthy and succeed.

I’ve worked with StrengthsFinders over the years, but over the last 6 months, I have been diving in deeper as I have become a Strengths Communicator. It’s given me the chance to work with people on teams in order for them to better know their place with the talents and strengths that they have. When we come to understand our strengths as well as the strengths of those with whom we are on the team, we can grow much more effective and efficient.

I remember playing on sports teams in high school. There was always the inevitable “showboater” who wanted to make sure that it always became about him. Most coaches wouldn’t fall for it, and were usually turned off by that kind of behavior. But as I moved to the business world and even the church world, I began to see that same mentality play out among people. People wanted to make sure that they always got the glory for things and were never satisfied until they had achieved it.

But I’ve experienced something so much greater when humility penetrates that team and makes its way through all of the team members. People begin to look beyond themselves to see the bigger picture. Instead of trying to attain things for themselves, they’re looking at what will benefit the team. How can I ensure that the team will experience success? What can I do to make sure that we are all moving in the same direction?

Within the church, the motivation for the bigger picture should be even greater. It’s not about ourselves or even our individual churches, it’s about the Kingdom of God. Jesus laid out the bigger picture in Matthew 28 and when we miss it, we take the focus off of growing the Kingdom and plant it firmly on ourselves.

If we’re smart, we come to the realization that there is always someone smarter than us, stronger than us, better at something than us. IF we aren’t careful, that can rock our world and plant a root of jealousy among us. But if we look at it as being part of the bigger picture and serving together on a team, we can move much faster towards achieving our goals.

I used to be intimidated by others on the same team who had different gifts than I have, but then I realized that there were gifts that I had that were specific to me which they didn’t possess. It’s about knowing your place in the big picture, knowing what you’re good at, and knowing how best to use those gifts which you’ve been given.

Some people think that holding onto things and monopolizing information or functions actually affords them job security. I’ve grown to realize that the opposite is true. If there is something that I am doing and someone else comes along who does it better, how willing am I to give that task up? If I hang on to it because I am afraid that I will no longer be necessary, than I’m not really confident in my own abilities. But, if I realize the potential of someone else and can lead them to doing something better, I actually prove my worth by encouraging them, leading and coaching them, and allowing them to live into a potential that someone else might not have seen.

It’s amazing the opportunities that I’ve had which have helped me grow. I hope and pray that I will always look at people on my team as assets rather than threats. When I’ve had leaders who have known their own limitations, I’ve been much more productive. I hope that my leadership can flourish in grow in the same way.

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Grab A Hand

father-son-holding-handsI’ve been volunteering at my kids’ school as often as I can. My mom did such an incredible job of this when my brother and I were kids that she modeled it well. I consider myself fortunate that I have the flexibility to volunteer and I know that the window of opportunity for this is much more limited than most of us really consider.

Last year, my oldest son signed up for running club at the school. It’s an after school program that encourages fitness but also rewards kids for pushing themselves. The gym teacher who runs it gave out little colored running shoe keychains to mark accomplishments that the students had made in their own progress.

My oldest is fairly cerebral and would much rather read a good book or play a video game than throw a ball. He’s found some activities that he likes and we’ve done our best to encourage them. So, when he expressed his interest in this, I jumped at the opportunity to encourage him by not only signing him up, but by volunteering myself to be a part of it.

Over the years, I’ve watched those who have gone before me in their parenting styles and skills. I’ve done my best to glean good practices from them that I have seen and mark those other practices that have not proved to be quite as effective. One of the practices that I’ve seen work so well for parents of multiple children is “dating” their children. This just involves taking them out one on one to do special and fun things together.

The things that I’ve chosen to do with my kids haven’t been grandiose or extravagant. Sometimes it’s just a trip to Home Depot or Goodwill. Involving them in the most common tasks can easily help them to feel important and involved. Activities like this running club have proven to be super beneficial for my relationship with my son as well.

The other day, after the club had finished and we were all walking back from the field to the gym, my son walked alongside me and grasped my hand. At that moment, I felt like the child as I glanced around to see whether or not anyone else was looking. I wasn’t embarrassed to hold my son’s hand, but I was surprised that it didn’t seem like something that was even on his radar. We walked back to the gym, hand in hand, talking about the day and his run. As we walked, I took a mental snapshot, capturing that moment in my brain because I knew that moments like that were fleeting and I wouldn’t have them forever.

I was so thankful for that moment. I was thankful that I had established a relationship with my son where he felt comfortable, even in 4th grade, grabbing his dad’s hand with his peers all around him. I was thankful that the affection that I’ve tried so hard to pour out on him was coming back to me. Not that I poured it out to get it back, but the return was an added benefit. I was thankful that it gave me a glimpse of the future relationship between my son and I, when we move from being father and son to being friends.

It was only the grabbing of a hand, but it meant a lot to me. These are the moments that legacy is made of, how we are remembered and how we remember. They happen when we least expect it and they certainly can’t be contrived or created. I’m hoping for many more, but I won’t try too hard to make them happen, I’ll just seize the opportunities, make myself available, and hope that they continue to come towards me.

Me Too – A Book Review

me-too“Too many people suffer alone. And most people who suffer alone aren’t looking for answers. Most people who suffer alone are looking for a friend – a friend who understands.”

So writes Jon Weece in the introduction of his book “Me Too.” And such is the premise of this book, we were not created to be alone. Not apart from God. Not apart from each other. He continues in the introduction and says, “And that’s what this book is about: an eternal Father who specializes in wiping away tears, and the people he uses to help him.”

Throughout “Me Too” Weece vamps on a variety of topics. He uses personal stories to connect to the message that he’s telling here. He goes to the Gospels to share stories about Jesus and how he met people where they were, just like he meets you and me. His writing style is comfortable and he easily draws in his reader, making them feel as if they’re engaged in a conversation with an old friend at a coffee shop. He never comes across preachy, judgmental, or in a rush, it’s as if the reader is the only person in the world with whom he wants to have a conversation as he weaves through page after page.

There’s nothing deeply theological here, no material for deep Bible study or even further research. This book was a quick read for me. Not only did it draw me in once I started reading, it kept me engaged and I had a hard time putting it down. Weece shares his wisdom and wit and the reader is left with a book that makes you smile, laugh, cry, and think. Sometimes, we just have to read books like this, for no other reason other than that we need to be reminded that we are not alone, that God wants to know us more, and that there are others who can relate to us as they say, “me too” when they hear us tell our stories.

“Me Too” was worth the read. It didn’t take long to get through it and it felt like time well spent to just be reminded of the many things that Weece reminds the reader of throughout this book.

If you’re looking for something deep and theological, you won’t find it here, but if you find yourself in a place where you need to be lifted up and reminded of the good God who created us and desires to know us, “Me Too” may be just the thing that you’ve been looking for.

(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge from Thomas Nelson Books. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)

Unreasonable Hope – A Book Review

unreasonable-hopeWhen I picked up “Unreasonable Hope,” I’m not quite sure what I was expecting. As Chad Veach tells the story of his journey with his daughter, Georgia, he pulls the reader into his story. He describes the emotions that he and his wife, Julia, experienced in the anticipation of a baby and the dreams that come for every couple expecting their firstborn child. Veach explains about the disease, lissencephaly, that his daughter has and explains the disease and their family’s journey with it.

It was hard to read at times because I could feel the heavy emotions that this young couple was feeling, which speaks to his ability to describe the situation with such vivid detail, enough to invest the reader into his story. Throughout his explanation, Veach never blames God. He is honest about the struggles but also sees beyond those struggles to what God is able to do through them. He shares about what God has taught he and Julia as well as those around them. He’s honest and realistic about their struggles but he also shares the hope that they have found in and through Jesus Christ.

There were moments in reading “Unreasonable Hope” where I felt like I was reading a Joel Osteen book. Veach is honest about the fact that being a Christian does not insure a pain-free or trouble-free existence when he says, “But just because Jesus is with you doesn’t mean you’re free from trials. Storms will happen when you know and love God.” While he acknowledges that, he still makes it seem as if we should be experiencing blessing and gifts from God in this life, that we should somehow anticipate that God has something more for us in this life.

While I don’t disagree that God wants to bless his children, I think the Veaches own experience is a testimony to the fact that sometimes in life, we don’t have answers that are satisfactory for the troubles that come our way, even as those who trust and follow Jesus. There were moments when it seemed that Veach got this, and it’s evident that he does, considering his circumstances, but the specifics of it weren’t as clear as I think that they could be to prevent someone for having unreasonable expectations of what our life in Christ should be like. He writes, “He’s ready to overflow our boat and give us more than we need.” I just wonder how a Christian living in the Third World might respond to reading that sentence as they are scrambling for their latest meal and watching their children go hungry.

Veach has an engaging writing style and, as I said, he draws the reader in with the honesty of his story. While I admire the honesty and transparency with which he writes, I feel like he misses the boat a little when it comes to explaining that sometimes the hope that we have in Christ won’t be fulfilled until the day when we meet Him face to face.

(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge from Thomas Nelson Books. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)