Reflection of a Year

The year closes down as one chapter ends and another one gets ready to begin. There are times in life when a moment feels more significant, as if you are on the brink of something.

In January of this year, as I looked back at my journal, I had written Isaiah 43:19 down, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” It was almost as if the Holy Spirit was prompting me, alerting me that something was coming.

If someone had told me at the beginning of this year what I would be heading into as 2019 begins, I don’t really know how I would have responded. I’ve never been a very big risk taker, I long for control much more than I would probably ever let on. Uncertainty is scary and I like to do whatever I can to gather as much information as possible to lessen the amount of possible surprises that might await me.

Yet here I am, stepping into the unknown and hoping and praying that my feet will fall on sure footing. I’ve prayed. I’ve listened. I’ve sought wise counsel and advice. I’ve done all that I can and that’s where faith comes in. Faith steps in at the end of the rationality and reason that we have, launching us off into the unknown.

I’ve never been a fan of resolutions that come at the beginning of the new year. The statistics aren’t good for how many people actually follow through with the new year’s resolutions that they’ve made. I’d much rather make goals and feel like I have the liberty to make course corrections along the way.

While my verse at the beginning of 2018 was from Isaiah, the verse that I launch into 2019 with is from the Psalms. The Psalms have always been by default when reading the Bible. Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” It serves as a daily reminder that no matter how much I may think of myself, the work that I am doing is not dependent on me. It’s a reminder to stay humble and lean into the unknown that only God knows, relying on his strength and wisdom to direct me as I move forward.

God has been doing some incredible things over the past few months as I get ready to launch out into this new adventure. I am excited to see what God will continue to do. At the same time, there is anxiety and fear because of uncertainty. Those things aren’t overcoming me, and that’s the key. Just as the Peter wrote, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

2019 will be an adventure, but I feel like it’s an adventure that has been a long time in the making. Goodbye, 2018, and welcome to whatever comes next!

Advertisements

I Will Follow

keyboardI am not a very good follower.

I like control. I like to see the steps that I am taking and just where my foot is gonna fall. I don’t trust easily and even when I trust, I still have to see enough of the road ahead for me to feel like whoever I am following knows what they’re doing, even if that someone happens to be God (as if he doesn’t know where he’s going and I do).

It’s a funny place to be when you kind of know where you are going but the details aren’t all ironed out. It’s like, you know what the destination is but you aren’t quite sure what the actual route you’re gonna take to get there looks like. The Israelites through the desert may be too vivid of a picture to better understand that.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life in full-time ministry trying to prove to people that I am more than a label, more than a role, more than the box that so many have tried to put me in. It’s been somewhat exhausting, to be honest. For how much I hate labels, you would think I wouldn’t use them as often as I do. Maybe I just hate them when they apply (or don’t apply) to me.

I’ve always been one who does more than most people know. Behind the scenes, there’s a whole heck of a lot more going on than most people will see and I generally don’t care whether or not everyone knows what I’m doing. As long as things are getting done and moving along, I don’t typically care who gets the credit.

The problem with this approach is that you can easily get pigeon-holed, people think that you’re more two dimensional than you really are and label you by what they see, not by what you really are.

My journey over the last few years has been a journey of pressing into the things that I know I’m good at doing. That doesn’t mean I avoid the things that I’m not good at doing, it means that I look to surround myself with others who excel in those areas. It’s a journey of living into strengths and relying on and empowering others in the places where their strengths lie.

As much as I don’t usually care what others think about me, when I’ve been labeled, especially falsely so, I struggle with that label. I don’t like to wear it when it’s either not true or only part of the story. It’s restrictive because it’s wrong or incomplete, not because I don’t like to wear it. But if we’re all honest, there are just some outfits that we don’t look good in, even if those outfits are metaphorical and not physical.

So, my tendency is to run away from the labels. If I know that there is more to the story, I want to tell the rest of the story rather than reading the same old section over and over. Why rehash on what you already know when there is so much more to the story to hear, to learn, to tell?

I’ve kind of been in that place of running. Not from everything. In fact, I’ve been running towards some things that are incredibly uncomfortable, that are taking an awful lot of faith. But I’ve been running away from certain things that have felt restrictive, that have felt confining and incomplete.

Sometimes, we have to do that. If we’ve got a healthy dose of self-awareness, we should know ourselves better than the ones who throw the labels on us. We should know if there is more to the story to be told and we shouldn’t really be afraid to tell that part of the story, regardless of the pushback that we might get from other people. I’m all about telling the whole story, no matter how uncomfortable that might make certain people, no matter how much they might want to dwell on their favorite part of the story (even when it’s not true).

A few months ago, I met a new pastor in the area. In our brief introduction, it sounded like we had some common interests and visions for the future. So, we connected over lunch and the story of that friendship is still being written.

In our lunch conversation, he said something that really stuck out to me. He had a similar musical background to mine and he told me that he had put it aside since he came here. I could relate, I had been trying to put mine aside for some time because it was the label that I had reluctantly worn. But, he said, when the people who had known him for and with that gift came back into town and saw him not using it, they asked him why he had put it aside, why he wasn’t using it.

When he said that, his words hit me right between the eyes.

I had been running from something that I was good at because it was only telling a portion of the story. But that part of the story was some people’s favorite part, and they weren’t going to let it go. That doesn’t really fly well with an Enneagram 8, the Challenger. Don’t tell me what to do or who to be, I will resist.

But God has a funny way of bringing you back around, especially when you don’t necessarily follow or trust well. He may bring you back to the very thing you’ve avoided just to remind you what he’s given you and what you’re supposed to be doing with it.

That’s kind of been what’s happened lately. I’ve avoided music, legitimately avoided it, because I was tired of being labeled by it, but God doesn’t care how others label me, he only cares how he created me. If he wants you to live into how he’s created you, it’s gonna happen.

So, in the course of ten days, I find myself not just playing music again, but playing a lot of music. Four times in a ten day period. Four fairly unique and different venues. Four different ways for me to use the gifts he’s given me and not avoid them anymore.

In the midst of using those gifts though, a funny thing happened, I realized that I kind of enjoyed using those gifts, I just didn’t want to be labeled by them. I found myself with new friends in a setting that I’d been in many times before, and everything clicked, it all fit together.

From a musical perspective, that doesn’t happen all the time. I’ve sat through plenty of rehearsals (led a ton of them) where things just wouldn’t click. Whether it was the timing or the harmonies or pitch, something kept it from getting to the place where everything fit together well. And those times are beyond frustrating, especially when you know how it’s supposed to fit together and sound.

But then there are those other times, when you pull pieces together that have existed separately until the moment you pull them together (God pulls them together?) and when you do, they just fit. And when I say they fit, I mean they fit well. The work is effortless, the results are beautiful, and when you’re done, you wonder just how you experienced what you had just experienced.

I’m still skeptical. I still don’t like labels. I still don’t want to be stuck in a hole in which some keep trying to put me. But I’m also seeing this through my identity in Christ. That identity isn’t defined by those around me, nor should it be heavily influenced by their myopic view of it. God sees me as I am, as he’s made me. As Brennan Manning wrote, God loves me as I am, not as I am supposed to be. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t see my potential and desire to move me there, but his love for me isn’t based on getting to that place, that would be a love based on my work, not his.

Yes, I’m a terrible follower, but I’m learning to follow God a little better every day. I don’t like following when I feel like there’s a better way, a more productive way. I’m not always crazy to take the scenic route, even when the scenic route involves being used more effectively than I might choose for myself. But I’m getting to the place where I care less about how people want to see me and I care more for how God sees me and the potential that he has for me.

It’s a somewhat unnerving and painful journey. It’s a loss of control, but who said that I actually had the control to begin with?

Where Life and Faith Meet

The Branch Logo (4000 x 4000)I’m within weeks of launching out into one of the biggest adventures of my life. After being in full-time vocational ministry for the last fourteen and a half years, my wife and I are being sent out of our church to start another church in the next town.

I’ve been on a journey of growing and learning since I started in ministry all those years ago. I came into ministry through the back door, never having been to seminary when I started. Along the way, I got my seminary degree and learned through the School of Hard Knocks. I’ve been fortunate to have had some patient and gracious people along the way who put up with this Enneagram 8’s challenging ways.

I grew up in the church in the home of a pastor. I was at the church every time the doors were open and it really caused me to try to understand just what I was doing there.

My crisis of faith came in my sophomore year of college. I wanted to compartmentalize my life, keeping things separate in their nice and neat containers. But anyone who’s tried that knows that it rarely works and rarely lasts long.

I came out of that time like something from a crucible, a little more refined than I had been before. I had moved from living a secondhand faith to beginning the journey that moved me towards embracing a faith of my own.

In retrospect, that was probably the beginning of the journey that is finally coming to culmination in the weeks ahead. Twenty some odd years of trying to understand just how to live in that place where life and faith meet. How do I embrace my faith and live in the tension that culture and this world can sometimes (often?) provide?

I’ve not always been the easiest person to lead. There has been a restlessness in me since my engineering days (the career I left to come into full-time ministry). But part of the reason was because I’ve always felt this tension, this in between place in which I live as I embrace faith and yet walk and live in a world that can be so hostile towards those who do.

Compartmentalization isn’t really the way faith is supposed to work. Over and over, as I read through the Bible, I don’t see things that would indicate that faith should be relegated to one day a week. If we want to take seriously the words that Jesus said, we can’t put our Bibles on the shelf and dust them off on Sunday mornings or, worse yet, Christmas and Easter. Life and faith meet in the everyday moments that we live.

This is at the heart of this journey that I am on. The community that God has called me to be a part of is one where life and faith meet. It isn’t a place where we put that faith on the shelf for the times when we need it, because if we are honest, we need it every moment of every day.

This past week, I’ve had a firsthand experience of that. This week is a continuation of it. I will be a part of two funerals this week. One of those funerals is for someone who lived a good, long life. The other funeral is for someone who struggled and whose life was cut short by tragedy. But life and faith met in both of these lives.

As I met with families, sat in hospital waiting rooms, drove in my car, I wrestled in prayer, kind of like Jacob did with that angel in the Bible. To say that I’m walking with a limp afterwards would be appropriate. When we wrestle with God, it should change us. But we don’t always come out with satisfactory answers, and I really don’t think we are always supposed to, although we sure would like to have those answers.

In the midst of the collision of life and faith, pat answers don’t cut it. Explaining to a son why his father’s life was snuffed out can’t be done, at least not in my book. The Bible is a guidebook, a story of God’s redeeming love and just how that love intersects. In many ways, it’s a picture of the place where life and faith meet.

This will be an adventure, but more than that, it’s a calling. It’s a calling that’s probably been there for longer than I’d like to admit. It’s a calling that I needed to prepare for, and it’s not just the past five or ten or fifteen years that have been preparing me. It’s a calling that I’ve been being prepared for my whole life. God has been shaping and forming me to embark on this journey.

I’ve rarely met people who feel that they are completely ready and prepared for what is ahead of them. I find myself in the same boat, and that’s the way I think it’s supposed to be. If I felt like I could do this all in my own strength, where would faith be, where would my reliance lie? I wouldn’t be relying on God and I probably wouldn’t be dreaming big enough since I’ve always said that we need to dream dreams that are big enough that only God can accomplish them.

Here is what I do know. I know that the place where life and faith meet is a place that many people seem to be searching for. I know that this place is a place that needs to be defined by values.

So, here are some of the values that I’m discovering in this place.

When life and faith meet, there is unity not uniformity.

When life and faith meet, not every question has an answer.

When life and faith meet, relationships take priority over preferences.

When life and faith meet, Jesus meets us where we are but doesn’t leave us there.

When life and faith meet, we are brought to places of discomfort for the comfort of others.

When life and faith meet, ministry and service are not reserved for the “paid professionals.”

When life and faith meet, it can get messy, so we need grace.

I’ll be sure to let you know what I’m discovering along the way.

 

A Craning of the Neck

The last few days have been kind of rough. It hasn’t had anything to do with my immediate family, but rather my church family. Deaths, both expected and unexpected. Sickness. Diagnoses. In a season of the church where hope is among the four major values focused upon (along with peace, love, and joy), it has seemed somewhat elusive.

When my mom was sick and eventually succumbed to cancer, the words of Romans 8 were powerfully meaningful to me. In the original Greek language of the text, the word translated in English as “eager expectation” had a particular meaning that stood out to me. It literally means to crane the neck and look around a corner.

I love word pictures and the picture that emerged in my mind was one of hope and expectation, something that marks the Advent season of the church. It’s a season of waiting. We sing songs of waiting like “Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus.”

Multiple times in the last few days, I have reminded myself and others that what we are experiencing is not the way things were intended to be. Having to break hard news to someone and watch as a family experiences one blow after another of tragedy is just not the way it’s supposed to be.

Still, there is hope. God’s promises are true. I believe it, but like the father in Mark 9 who desperately hopes that Jesus will heal his son, I need to be helped in my unbelief. Knowing and believing without seeing is where faith comes in.

Fielding the questions of my ten year old son about belief, and heaven, and the difficulty of believing has been sobering as well. I refuse to give him pat answers to questions that plagued me for years because the church was never willing to be honest with them.

As I feel like I’ve said so many times, there is nothing wrong with doubt, it’s what you do with it that matters most. My doubt leads me back to God’s promises. There were periods of the silence of God, hundreds of years. And now, it seems, we are faced with thousands of years of the silence of God. Does that mean he has abandoned us? No, I don’t think so.

Instead, we wait in anticipation, craning our necks around the corner to see if we can just catch a glimpse of what is ahead, what wonder might be waiting around that corner. Any little glimpse will reignite that hope in our hearts.

Surprisingly, in a cramped hospital family waiting room, stuffed with people who had only known each other for a short period of time, I sensed that hope and expectation. In the midst of tragedy, I heard stories of hope. I saw images of hope. I could almost feel the sense of hope palpably.

Don’t get me wrong, tragedy, grief, hurt and pain still suck. I’m not going to sugarcoat that, but I see in the darkness that there is a light, no matter how small. In the Apostle Paul’s words, “Hope that is seen is no hope at all.”

As far away as God might seem, I am comforted by the words that end Romans chapter 8. These words are the words that I choose to propel me forward during times like this.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Pressing On, Pressing In

So, I’m learning a ton about myself, a ton about faith, and just a ton in general. There have been multiple times in my life when I’ve felt like I’m drinking from the firehose, this season is certainly one of them.

For anyone who has been following my story, my family and I are launching out and planting a church in the next year. It’s something that’s been on our heart since we left Asheville, North Carolina almost eleven years ago.

There are a number of reasons why it’s taken us this long to do it. To be honest, I think that God had a lot of work that he needed to do in me before I was ready to launch out. And honestly, I still don’t know how ready I am, which is probably a good thing. If I felt completely ready and capable, I would probably be relying on my own strength rather than the strength that God gives me.

Since we made our announcement about the plant, I’ve gone through all kinds of waves of emotion. There have been moments of joy, moments of sorrow, moments of doubt, moments of confidence. One thing that is consistent is my daily realization that I cannot do this alone. Not only as an individual, but also not without God’s help in all of this.

I was educated as an engineer. Two degrees. Some people are tired of hearing me say that, but I bring it up because engineers pride themselves in having the answers. In fact, I always prided myself on having the answers to questions that still hadn’t been asked. But where we are right now, this reliance on things that we can’t see, it’s totally out of my norm, I just don’t usually operate this way. I want answers. I want control. I’m not finding a lot of either right now, and I think I’m okay with that.

But this is a different season. I’m trying my best to press on and to press in. I am doing my best to trust and to have faith. I don’t have all the money that I need for the upcoming year. I don’t have all the particulars of what this church that we are starting will look like. I don’t even know for sure where it is that we will be meeting. And you know what? I’m actually okay with all that, and I think that it’s perfectly acceptable.

It’s actually a big step for me to be where I am and I didn’t get here on my own. Some may think I am being reckless. Some may think I’m hanging on to outdated beliefs. I have seen too much in my life, both good and bad, to not believe.

So, we’re pushing on and I am excited to see what God will do. While I may have some unique strengths and gifts, I know that none of this can happen without God. Like Moses in the wilderness, I stand where I am saying, “If you do not go with us, we will not go from this place.” That’s my sentiment. Exactly.

I’ll keep updating here. I’ll keep hanging on to the faith that I have. After all, faith is the assurance of the things that we hope for, the things that we can’t see. Here’s hoping and here’s faithing!!

A Light So Lovely – A Book Review

A Light So LovelyIf you have been educated in public schools sometime after 1970, chances are that you are somewhat familiar with the name Madeleine L’Engle. You may have even read her most famous book “A Wrinkle In Time.” But Ms. L’Engle was so much more than an author of this fantasy/science fiction young adult book which garnered so much attention and was most recently made into a movie in 2018.

In her book “A Light So Lovely” Sarah Arthur undertakes a labor of love to take her readers on a journey through this complicated woman whose faith caused her to forge a path that many have been afraid to travel. L’Engle was not afraid to speak and write freely of her faith, incorporating it into the stories that she would write.

As Arthur writes in the introduction, “God uses imperfect people, in every generation, at each unique point in history, to accomplish his purposes.” And that’s just what he did with Madeleine L’Engle, an imperfect person with an imperfect faith but a passion and zeal for expressing that faith beyond her own flaws and imperfections.

Arthur takes her reader on a journey through some of the many books that L’Engle wrote. She also incorporates conversations and interviews that she had with those who knew L’Engle even incorporating her own words. Arthur paints a portrait of a woman who was flawed yet determined to break the mold that many had cast in the area of young adult writing.

But L’engle could not be confined only to young adult fiction as she also ventured into the world of non-fiction, exploring her faith in books like “Walking on Water,” a book that has become a primer for those who embrace faith in Christ and yet also seek to allow the creativity that they have been given to be expressed outside of the norms that have been imposed by the Christian subculture

As I read “A Light So Lovely,” I found myself scanning the internet for the countless books that were mentioned by Arthur. While I knew of some of them, this book opened my eyes to not only the expansive catalogue written by L’Engle, but also to this woman whose creativity and willingness to use it has influenced generation and beyond of Christian artists and writers.

Sarah Arthur’s love for Madeleine L’Engle is evident on every page in this book. She takes her time to explore the many facets of L’Engle, good and bad, willingly revealing her, warts and all. Arthur leaves the reader longing to imagine themselves sitting down to a cup of tea with L’Engle, exploring issues of faith, creativity, science, and beyond.

Whether you are familiar with Madeleine L’Engle or not, this book is a worthy read. To get a glimpse of this complicated woman is worth the time it takes to thumb through these pages. If you have grappled with the tension of the sacred and the secular before and have felt unfulfilled by some of the empty offerings found within some of the writing of the Christian subculture, this may be a book that you want to give a try. You may just find yourself encouraged and inspired, finding hope that others have journeyed along this road less traveled and emerged along the way and at the end with scars and stories worth telling.

(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge from Booklook Bloggers. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)

What Are You Hiding?

In the wake of the suicides of two prominent public and successful figures, many are reeling and wondering just what happened. How did two people who had experienced such success find themselves in such darkness and despair that they felt the need to take their lives? How did it come to this? And the question that haunts me more than any other is, “Did anyone really know how bad it was?”

We live in an age of information. We get up to the minute news details from around the world. At our fingertips lies more information than generations before us could gather in a lifetime. We call ourselves “connected” but deep down inside, there are so many who are alone, afraid, and in desperate despair.

I’ve been through my own struggles lately, none which have led me to the sickness unto death. Struggles are one thing, but where do we go with them?

My thoughts on my own recent struggles and experiences are raw, but one thing that has emerged larger than life to me is that we are rarely honest people. We love to cover things up. We will divert and project and use all kinds of tactics to ensure that no one has a clue what’s really going on inside of us.

Even the answers that we give of our despair are untrue. We tell ourselves lies, and we tell those lies to others. Why? Why are we trying to hide? What are we trying to hide? What keeps us from confronting the truth of the situations in which we find ourselves?

I am a student of people. I watch, I learn, I gather information. Over the years, I have been both frustrated and intrigued to find that the answers that people give and reasons for their actions are rarely true. I’ve rarely received an answer when asking for a reason or rationale that I haven’t felt the need to mine, dig deeper, and discover the real reason behind the reason.

In an age when we are all supposed to feel closer than ever, we couldn’t be more further apart.

I have been blessed by many things in the midst of this world, but three stand out to me.

First, I have a family who I love and who loves me. My family has gone through transitions in the past few years, losing my parents, losing other loved ones, but we adjust. I am grateful for what I have in the form of loves ones.

Second, I have a select group of friends with whom I feel I can be more honest and open. Some are near, some are far, but the benefit of having those who I feel no need to hide from, whom I don’t need to don a social media presence before, that benefit is invaluable.

Third, my faith in Jesus Christ. Yes, critics of Christianity have criticized it as a crutch. Many horrid things have been done in the name of Jesus, but putting the blame for those things on Jesus hardly seems fair. Call it a crutch if you will, I know the depths of despair from which I have been rescued because of the hope and faith that I have. While that certainly can’t be distilled down into any empty statements suggesting that Jesus is all you need to avoid despair, depression, and suicide, I know that the smallest glimpse of hope has saved me and helped me to seek help in trying times.

I want to be part of a community that knows how to be honest with one another, even when it’s awkward, even when it hurts, even when it’s uncomfortable. I have seen the alternative and it’s been less than appealing to me.

And when we can’t be honest with each other, when we feel the need to hide, can we dig and probe and ask questions to get to the bottom of the despair that’s plaguing our hearts? Can we not settle for, “I’m fine” when we know that it’s less than an honest answer?

Two passages from the Bible come to mind. The first from Proverbs 20:5, “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” It takes time and trust to get to the deep waters of a person’s heart, are we willing to spend that time? One who has insight and wisdom will take the time and will do their best to draw it out.

I am also reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul from one of my favorite passages in all of the Bible, Romans 12:

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

As much despair as there is in the world, there is always hope, we can always find it if we look in the right place. I hope and pray that wherever you are, wherever I am, that we might be honest enough with those around us that we can face our despair and find hope in the midst. And if we can’t be honest, for whatever reason, I pray that there are those around us who will take the time and do the hard work of loving us and drawing out the purposes of our hearts so that we can move towards hope and peace.

Seeing With Your Heart

I am a visual person. I like to be able to see things. I have a white board in my office where I can write out the things that I have to do and even work out ideas. It gives me the opportunity to sit at my desk and stare at the thoughts and ideas written on it. I can work them out in my head but right there in front of me as well. My thoughts come to life in a visible way, allowing me to see where I am going and order my thoughts better.

When I can’t see things, I panic. My anxiety rises up. I flip and flail like a fish dropped on dry land, struggling for breath and wondering when I will get a glimpse and see what I have determined in my head is necessary for me to see in order to move forward.

It’s funny how the things that we can so often think are necessary for our survival are far more expendable than we actually think. We obsess over things that seem crucial to us, viscerally reacting or even overreacting. Then we realize that we can live without the very thing that seemed to crucial and integral to our own plan.

Do I need to see, or do I just WANT to see? When I can see all of the pieces laid out in front of me, it’s really easy for me to wallow in my own self-sufficiency, elevating myself to a plain far above where I belong. Seeing all of the pieces may seem comfortable to me, but it mostly eliminates my need for trust and faith in God. If I can figure it all out myself, if I can seem to be self-sufficient, if there is no mystery, what’s the use of faith anymore?

A friend of mine describes the Christian life as being a combination of the two simple yet difficult tasks of trusting and obeying. It’s one step after another. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Onward. The mundane yet laborious task of putting one foot in front of the other, not always knowing where your footfall will be three steps or ten steps or twenty steps from now. Only knowing where the next step will be. Like the psalmist’s words, a light to our path doesn’t shine for miles in front of us, it simply lights the way for the few steps that lie immediately ahead.

I’m beginning to see that what I think I need to see may be just an extension of my need to control things. Maybe trusting is less about seeing with our eyes and more about seeing with our hearts. Maybe all I really need to see is what’s immediately before me so that I abstain from self-sufficiency and I lean more on God, who has promised to guide me and provide for every step.

I’ll continue to resist, I can be assured of that. I’ll continue to search for ways that I can see what I was never meant to see. But in my search and in my resistance, perhaps I will find that the same vision that I have prided myself in with my eyes may transfer over to my heart and I will begin to see things not as I want to see them, but as I need to see them. Perhaps I will find that as difficult of a task as it is to see with my heart, it will serve me so much better in the long run.

Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders – A Book Review

Developing Emotionally Mature LeadersAubrey Malphurs introduces the concept of emotional maturity for Christians by claiming that emotionally maturity and spiritual maturity go hand in hand. He writes, “And to be emotionally mature is to be spiritually mature.” Christians who claim to be spiritually mature yet lack emotional maturity are mistaken, Malphurs says.

This book is divided into four sections. The first section, Introduction to Emotional Intelligence, feels like an apologetic for the subject. Why is emotional intelligence important? That’s the question that Malphurs seems to be answering in Part 1. He gives a brief history, introducing some of the key influential figures in the study of emotional intelligence.

In Part 2, Malphurs seems to be answering the question, “Why does this matter to Christians?” He goes so far as to give a Biblical theology of emotions and why they are important. To be honest, this also seems like an apologetic section, as if he is trying to convince Christians why this subject is so important. To be honest, if someone has picked up this book, I would be hard pressed to believe that they wouldn’t see value in the subject to begin with.

Halfway through the book, Malphurs begins to get into the nuts and bolts of emotional intelligence and maturity. Part 3 is about becoming an emotionally mature leader. Malphurs introduces four different emotional maturity models and briefly walks through them.

Part 4 is the appendices, which are dedicated to the building of various skills such as networking, risk-taking, decision-making. confrontation,  encouragement, and various other practical skills for emotional health and leadership. Most of what is shared here is fairly practical. Nothing earth-shattering, at least to me.

Overall, every time that I opened this book and was reminded of its title, I felt a little disappointed that so much time was taken to convince the reader why the subject was important. I would rather have seen more space in the book dedicated to the models and the methods for growing and building emotionally healthy leaders. The book was far more elementary than its title indicates. I was expecting much deeper and more helpful.

For those who are already familiar with the subject of emotional health and maturity, you can probably pass on this book. I don’t think you will learn anything new. While the appendices have some helpful information, it certainly isn’t worth the price of the book as the information is most likely available elsewhere.

If you are just wading into this subject, this book may be helpful to convince you of the importance of the subject. It’s more of a primer for beginners than a handbook for the already familiar.

(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge from Baker Books. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)

A Call To Action

a call for courageIn the introduction of “A Call For Courage” George Barna writes, “We have become a nation of self-sufficient individuals who dismiss the idea that God will judge us. His statement sets the tone for Michael Anthony’s book. It is our apathy and complacency, specifically the apathy and complacency of those who follow Jesus that Anthony speaks to throughout his book.

Anthony raises concern over the state of the United States. Things have been happening, legislation has been passed, laws have been changed, all of which should be concerning for those who consider themselves to be followers of Christ. There is a reverse intolerance that has taken place, an ideology where it is no longer acceptable to disagree or see things differently. Instead, disagreement becomes intolerance or hate or prejudice.

Christians, Anthony writes, are partly to blame for the current state of affairs. The lives of believers look suspiciously similar to the lives of those who don’t consider themselves to be Christ followers. Various attitudes among Christians have been embraced to avoid engagement with some of the issues at hand. The focus of Christian churches and their leaders has been skewed, with an emphasis on speed, size, and numbers rather than life change and transformation. As Anthony writes, “If we keep doing what we’ve been doing, we’ll keep getting what we’ve been getting.”

Despite the overwhelming opinion to the contrary among evangelicals, Anthony does not believe that change happens based on who is elected as president. In fact, he believes that the change happens within the church as Christians begin to engage the issues, stand up and fight for their rights, and stop longing for the day that Jesus returns to make everything better. While that longing is important, an overemphasis on Jesus’ return has the potential for Christians to disengage from culture and society and simply sit and wait for Jesus’ return. Yes, hope and wait, but in the meantime, take action and stand up.

Anthony points his readers back to the Bible, encouraging them to see the Bible as the story of God rather than the story of us. The Bible is full of stories, he writes, and people who were ordinary and unlikely yet who were used by God to make a difference in the difficult places where he planted them. Christians need to begin to see themselves as part of God’s story and ask how they might be involved in change to which he is calling them.

Anthony takes time in the book to correct misunderstandings of certain laws and legislation that has been grossly misunderstood. He explains his perspective on the separation of church and state and reminds his readers that our inalienable rights are ours not because they have been given to us by a government or a Constitution, but by God himself. He encourages an embrace of the First Amendment in not only the prohibition of the establishment of a religion by the government but also a protection of the practice and exercise of one’s religion without infringement or attack.

Speaking the truth in love is important. Anthony shares from his own experience with those with whom he disagrees, pointing out that it is still possible to disagree and yet still love and care for people deeply. While I’m not a fan of the cliché phrase of “love the sin, hate the sinner” that he embraces, his point is not lost on me. We can love someone and still not agree or condone their behavior or viewpoint.

“A Call For Courage” is really a call for action by Anthony. He implores readers to be involved and be informed. He shares his concerns with examples of various actions by our government that should raise concern among Christians. Anthony by no means is encouraging militaristic rebellion against the government, he is simply calling Christians to not be lulled to sleep by the culture, but instead to take a stand for the rights that they may not have unless that stand is taken. We can make a difference by simply changing some simple things that are right in front of us. We need to focus on our own sin before loudly pointing out the sins of others. We need to get our house in order before thinking that we can conquer the world through politics and presidents.

Overall, “A Call For Courage” was a good read. While I am not in 100% agreement with everything Anthony writes, I appreciate his call to action and his emphasis on the love that Christians need to share with those around them, especially those with whom they don’t agree. Anthony’s emphasis for change is focused more on what the church can do within herself. While there is still a call to be active and involved in politics and society, Anthony is reminding followers of Christ about the importance of consistency in their own lives while fighting this battle.

(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge from Booklook Bloggers. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)