Historically, the church has been fairly good about clearly defining and even broadcasting the things that she is against. Boycotts. Picketing. Writing letters. If you would ask the average person what it is that the church is against, you would most likely get a laundry list of items repeated back to you.
But how about the things that the church is for? Has the church done a good job of framing up the things that are beneficial? Has the church put such an overemphasis on the prohibitions that there hasn’t been any room (or time) to spend on the things that should be encouraged?
Mo Isom believes that the church has dropped the ball in clearly having conversations about the “whys” of sex because the church has been so focused on the “whats” of sex. In her latest book, “Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot,” Isom shares her own background and experience and talks about the many things that she has learned regarding sex since having gone astray and making choices that altered her journey.
There were multiple times in this book that I wondered how many other readers might blush at the level of candidness with which Isom shares. She pulls no punches at not only describing her experiences but also explaining what she wished that she knew. She describes her struggle with pornography and how the things that we see shape our view of sexuality and sexual expression. She describes how she held her virginity high up as a banner all the while treading as dangerously close as she could to doing everything but giving it up, realizing and admitting her own hypocrisy.
Isom shares of her year of a sexual fast, a year where she focused on her relationship with Christ and her journey towards finding fulfillment in him rather than in the experiences that she was having or the way that she would feel through those experiences. And in that year, she met her husband and began the journey with him. She shares freely even about the struggles that she and her husband experienced and how her tainted past negatively impacted their own sexual encounters even within the boundaries of marriage.
My experience of a lack of good conversations within the church about sex was very similar to Isom’s experience. I was raised with such prohibitions and the simple statement that God wants us to remain virgins until we are married. What was lacking was a deeper conversation about just how God sees marriage and this sacred act that should be reserved for marriage. God’s holiness and desire for our own purity was not emphasized nearly as much as our own need to remain chaste simply because.
“Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot” is a book that I wish had been written when I was much younger. Isom’s unabashed sharing may be shocking (she is not graphic or explicit in what she shares) to some, but compared to the world in which the youth of today live, it’s a walk in the park. Our society is emphasizing sexual encounters divorced from emotional attachments. Isom explains all the reasons why she believes that is impossible and even shares just how detrimental those encounters will be to the future of everyone who enters into them.
If you have children who are moving towards becoming teenagers or if you work with teenagers or even if you just care about teenagers, this book is worth picking up, if for no other reason than to get a glimpse into the real struggles that exist. Isom’s approach and all that she shares just may encourage someone who has been barraged with prohibitions to understand the rationale and reasoning to view sex much more sacredly than they ever had before.
(This review is based upon a copy of this book which was provided free of charge from Baker Books. These opinions are my own; I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated for this review.)