Just Watching

watchingOn my way to work this morning, I ran into a back-up on the highway. I could see the flashing lights ahead and realized that there were no lane closures and the accident that was causing the delay seemed to have been fairly minor. But everyone needed to stop and slow down. They needed to see what all the delay was about. It was almost as if they needed to be a part of it without really being a part of it.

I met someone for lunch yesterday at a fast food restaurant. As we walked in, the TV hanging on the wall was displaying the news of the tragedy in Las Vegas. As the latest statistics scrolled across the screen, the man with whom I was meeting said, “I think we’ve become calloused. I see stuff like this and it hardly phases me.” I couldn’t help but agree. If there is a normal, this may very well have become a part of ours. That’s not to say that I like it, but it seems that the frequency of these kinds of occurrences is too high.

It seems that we spend a good deal of our lives watching. We watch the cars go by and crane our necks to see why we had to slow down. We turn on the news on the TV or computer or device and we watch everything that’s happening. We might even attend a church on a Sunday morning and we take our seats and watch as everything plays out before us.

We’re really good at watching, but I wonder how good we are at doing. Does our watching ever result in us actually doing something? We can watch the world pass by and even feel the stirrings in our hearts that we should do something, but then life gets in the way and we forgot that feeling, the deep ache within us that was calling us to step out and make a difference. We can be lulled into a stupor and trance by the busyness that surrounds us and before we know it, the opportunities have passed us by.

That’s where I am right now. I’ve been watching, trying to put some skin in the game. I’ve been on a fact finding mission, trying to see where I need to be and what I need to be doing. The fact is, it seems like there are a billion places to start and a trillion things to do, if we take it at face value, it’s all a bit overwhelming. But if we look around to right where we are, do we see the possibilities to affect change right there?

I am tired. I am tired of death and tragedy. I am tired of the constant politicization of tragedies for our own preferences. I am tired of people thinking that change can happen just by being more restrictive. If change doesn’t happen deep within, then the change will only be temporary at best, fake and superficial at worst.

When tragedy strikes, we always want to find who is to blame. Many people would dare to blame gun lobbyists, the president, the NRA, and others. I don’t think that all of these are without blame, but the problem is, some of us just aren’t self-aware enough to realize that while there may be blaming lying outside of us, there may actually be blame deep within us as well. We are not without blame, yet we have no problem casting the first stones.

Could it be that our problem isn’t a law or legal thing and that it’s really a heart thing? Could it be that maybe there is more to morality and ethics than a secular humanistic view would admit? Could it be that the heart of the problem may actually lie closer to home and within me than I am willing to admit?

My heart is broken that there are lives which have been senselessly snuffed out and for the families of those whose lives are over. My heart is broken that tragedy continues to divide us rather than unite us. My heart is broken that we are too busy casting blame to take any responsibility or ownership ourselves.

I’m not sure what the next steps are, but I’m pretty sure politicization, blaming, and lobbying are not among them. I can make a difference, but the question is whether or not I’ll just sit back and keep watching or if I’ll get some skin in the game and actually do something.

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