I’m sure that you have been there before, you’ve thought about what might have been. You’ve second guessed a decision that you made and wondered “what if” rather than being comfortable in the choices that you made.
That’s understandable, especially when things don’t turn out well. I think it’s natural for us to question decisions when things don’t turn out exactly as we thought that they would. What always frustrate me are the times when I think about the things that “might” happen. There is no evidence that these “mights” will actually happen. There is no proof that there is a higher probability of them occurring than their less offensive counterparts, but somehow, I can convince myself of the opposite.
It’s a hard weight to come out from under, the weight of watching dreams crumble and lives deteriorate. As a pastor, I am often invited into the more intimate moments of life, those moments when only family is around to see what happens behind the scenes. Weddings. Funerals. Surgeries. Births. These moments are moments when emotions are raw and when what is deep inside of us is revealed, sometimes more than we are willing or likely to admit.
When you experience these moments, it has a tendency to color the lens through which you view the world. When you are standing by the bedside of someone who is closing their time on earth, your own mortality is inevitably going to take a front and center stance. The “what if’s” begin to fly and can easily turn into the “might be’s.”
Every day is a gift and I need to constantly remember that. If I live my life in the “what if’s” and the “might be’s,” I will miss the opportunities that stand right in front of me. There are enough things in my life that can distract me from the here and now, no need to add to them.