Some Days

Some days I figure I’m not auditioning for the “Man of the Year” or “Father of the Year” award, but the furthest thing from it.  I get tired.  I get anxious.  I get grumpy.  I take it out on those who are around me, which usually means my kids.  My demeanor begins to mirror frustratedthe inner workings of my soul and I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Those are the days that I sometimes wish would go by quickly.

At the stage of life that I am at right now, it’s really hard to try to keep it together.  Three small children 6 and under with the youngest one being a rising demolition star, it gets tiresome.  Some days I want to scream and run, even if it’s only to the gas station to fill up the tank that I filled up 2 days ago.  Even if it means that browsing at Target becomes the way to get out, sometimes, that’s how I feel.

This too shall pass.  Isn’t that what so many people tell young parents?  The problem is, once it’s passed, it’s never coming back again.  There will never be another day like today, as hard and excruciatingly painful as it might seem at times, it can never be duplicated.

How many times have you heard someone say as their child graduates from high school or college, “Yup, just seems like yesterday that my kids were the age of your kids.  Where did the time go?”  I’ve heard it too many times to think that someone is passing out a script with those lines on it.  I’ve got to believe that there’s a reason why they’re saying it.

As much as there is the temptation to wish these days away, I have to figure out a way to push through.  There will never be another today because today turns into tomorrow.  It’s not just with my kids that I think about this, it’s with everything.  There are certain things that seem like they’ll always be there, but people are not things and they may not be around as long as you expect or even would wish.  What are you doing to take advantage of that today?

My kids might be forgiving of my crummy attitude, but is that all that they’re seeing?  Can they see me enjoying them, having fun, taking time to laugh and smile?  If not, what kind of precedent am I setting for them?

Yes, some days feel like I’ve been run over by a dozen tanks.  Some days feel like I’m the bug hitting the rapidly approaching windshield.  But some days also feel like the best things that I could ever dream or imagine are right in front of me, waiting, watching, hoping that I take notice.  Will I notice, or will I just let them pass me by?

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